


Just Breathe

by fauxtales



Series: Becoming Human Again [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, post kh3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26914438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauxtales/pseuds/fauxtales
Summary: It's hard to get back to the way things were when panic attacks keep interrupting Lea's days. At least he has Isa to help him through.
Relationships: Isa/Lea (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Becoming Human Again [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890835
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	Just Breathe

“Breathe with me, yeah? Come on. Breathe. You got it - there you go.”

This is becoming far too regular of an occurrence. As Lea gasps himself back from a panic attack, Isa threads his fingers through his hair, mumbling quiet encouragements. Lea wishes he didn’t need them at all, but they are a comfort nonetheless. It’s just that he doesn’t want to be in this situation.

Ever since coming back from the nothingness of being dead, Lea thought that things would be okay. Once they defeated this big threat looming over them, it would all return to normal. Or, well, maybe not normal, but okay. Something new and different but better.

Turns out, returning to “normalcy” is a lot harder than Lea thought.

“Fuck… I hate this,” Lea mutters, pressing shaking hands against his eyes and willing tears to stop. Isa holds him closer, tightening his grip on Lea to just before the point of unbearable. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’m here.” Isa repeats the words like a mantra, like a spell. As if he’s trying to convince himself as much as Lea. They’re spread out on the kitchen floor, where Lea landed when his hyperventilating nearly made him pass out. Where Lea spiraled into a panic attack so fast he thought he actually might die this time.

Where Lea could have sworn he saw gold eyes where there should have been teal.

They had been talking, just about day to day things. Nothing significant, nothing Lea would remember past the moment. Isa was bustling around the kitchen, preparing things so they could cook dinner. Then he turned around and stared at Lea and Lea felt like he’d been thrown into the Castle That Never Was all at once. Saïx’s claymore was gripped in raging hands. The walls around him were white and Saïx’s eyes were gold and Axel felt so very small.

The next thing Lea knew, he was on the floor gasping for breath with Isa hovering protectively over him.

Eventually, after a stretch of time that Lea couldn’t begin to estimate, his breathing calms down. He feels less like he’s about to drown in a lack of air and more like he just ran across the road and needs to catch his breath. The shaking doesn’t go away completely, but it does settle, and Lea feels like maybe he’ll be able to walk again today without his legs giving out the moment he tries to stand.

“...Thanks, Isa,” Lea mumbles into Isa’s chest. The tight grip around Lea’s shoulders loosens slightly as Isa slumps in relief at hearing his voice. The hand in Lea’s hair continues it’s soothing motion, though Lea is sure it’s as much for Isa as it is for him.

“Of course. I’m not just going to leave you convulsing on the floor.” The blunt logic in Isa’s voice may come across as annoyance to anyone else, but for Lea it’s a comfort. He knows it comes from Isa’s discomfort with showing emotion. Besides, Lea can hear the barely there tremor of it indicating how shaken up Isa himself is. Lea clings to Isa’s shirt and Isa clears his throat. “I mean… you’re my best friend. I want to take care of you.”

“I know,” Lea whispers. Isa sighs, clearly glad that his meaning got through. Lea smiles weakly up at him. “I’ve known you for practically my whole life. I know how to speak Isa by now. What you meant to say was ‘of course Lea! I love you so much, I will always jump at the chance to be your gallant knight!’”

Isa’s shoulders are shaking in laughter even before Lea finishes. The smile on Lea’s face widens, getting stronger as his attempt to lighten the mood with humor seems to work. Isa tugs at Lea’s hair bit, shaking his head. “You’re such an obnoxious idiot.”

“Yeah, but I’m your obnoxious idiot.” Lea grins. For a moment, everything is as it should be. Isa smiles down at Lea in that soft way that he has, while Lea grins to deflect any concern away from himself. Then Isa’s expression turns serious and the facade shatters.

“Lea… what set you off?” Isa asks the exact question Lea was dreading. He feels his smile dissolve and turns his head to hide his face in Isa’s chest. “Was it something I did? I would like to know if you can tell me. So I can avoid it in the future.”

Lea doesn’t want to admit to Isa what he saw. It’s the worst of the flashbacks, if only because of how scared it makes him to look into Isa’s eyes. He doesn’t want to admit that sometimes, Lea wonders how easy it would be to piss Isa off enough to make that gold come back for real. Ienzo and Even have assured him that it is not possible. Xehanort’s heart is gone from Isa completely, no trace left to come out and haunt them. Lea can’t get rid of the fear regardless.

“...Do we have to talk about it?” Lea mumbles into Isa’s shirt. He knows that Isa is just trying to help, and he really does appreciate it. But it’s not something he’s ready to talk about yet. Not something he’s ready to admit. Isa hesitates long enough for Lea to start to worry. He curls up more, peeking up at Isa between his fingers. Isa’s face is unreadable as ever and Lea thinks that he might start panicking again if Isa doesn’t respond soon.

Then Isa takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “No. We don’t have to.” Isa looks down at him. He nudges Lea’s hand out of the way of his face before gently cupping his cheek. The smile playing on Isa’s lips is so sweet Lea thinks he just might melt. It makes his chest ache with what he’s not telling him. “Not right now. But I think you should talk about it.”

“Isa…”

“Maybe not with me,” Isa is quick to add. He shrugs, clearly trying to hide how it pains him. Lea can feel the tears coming back. “And that’s okay. I know I contributed to… a lot. So I understand, even if it is… hard. The point is, you can’t just keep it all bottled up inside, and if that means you have to go talk to someone else about it and I can’t be there, then…”

Isa trails off. Lea watches his throat work as he tries to fight off some emotion. Then he seems to find his resolve. “Then I’ll be waiting with ice cream for you when you get home.”

Lea lets out a shaky breath. Isa really is too good to him. Pressing his hand to Isa’s cheek, Lea sits up and presses a soft kiss to the corner of Isa’s mouth.

“Thank you.” It doesn’t cover everything Lea wants to say, every emotion he can feel swarming in his chest, but Isa smiles back and returns the kiss and Lea thinks that he must have understood.


End file.
